Friday, May 14, 2010

How I Cope with Grief and Loss of My Loved One

How I Cope with Grief and Loss of My Loved One


The loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event and could cause another major crisis. The death of a family member or friend whom we love dearly is VERY painful. For me, my mother passed away in 2006, and this was the toughest time in my life. After the loss, I experienced all kinds of difficult and depressed with the feelings of guilt and sadness.

Between sadness and depression, I did not have any desire to go out, but stayed at home all the time until my two friends took me to the Tulip festival. It was one month after the loss of my mom.

On the same day, my close friend gave me nine tomato seedlings. I had NO idea what to do with nine tomato seedlings. With my friend’s help, I planted all tomato seedlings into the soil. I went to the libraries and book stores to get more information how to grow. I had to water them to sustain. I had to cut the suckers in between branches. I also called my friend whenever I had questions. All of sudden, my life got so busy over nine tomato seedlings.

I started learning the life through growing nine tomato seedlings~~~ through watching them ~~~how they grow~~~how they have blossoms~~~how they have green tomatoes~~~how they change the color to red delicious tomatoes~~~how they become brown~~~how they end their life. That was the beginning of my realization about LIFE. I started learning through nine tomato seedlings~~~ through the SOIL ~~~ through our Mother Earth.

This is healing! This is one of many ways for therapeutic healing. Gardening is healing!  Planting something~~~ Growing something ~~~Watching them grow! 

We all know that losing the one you love or something you love hurts and very painful. The loss happens to everyone. This is our life, and it is a part of life~~~cycle of our life in our Mother Earth.

We are sad because we think that the death is final and the end. We might think Death is cold! Death is the end! Death is the final!

Based on my own experience, Death may NOT be as bad as you think!

Death may NOT be as cold as you think!

Death may NOT be the end!

Death may NOT be the final!


Continuation Circle of Birth and Death! To me, there is NO real beginning and NO real end, but only the continuation of life that is the one perfect circle by evolving some million and million years.

Continuation Circle! I think of death in this way ~~~we do not feel pain when we cut our hair and nails. I consider the death as like our hair and nails that we do not feel the pain~~~ we feel nothing, but for rest! They are once born and become dead after sometime. The dead cells have no blood vessels or neurons attached. So we do not feel the pain, but, mysteriously they are still growing ~~~our hair and nails!

Whenever we breathe in, that is a birth, and whenever we breathe out, that is a death of that breath ~~~our life continues.

Whenever we get up from our bed in the morning, that is a birth, and whenever we sleep, that is a death of that day ~~~our life continues.

Whenever we have Spring that has sprung, that is a birth, and whenever we have Winter that has given rest, that is a death of that season ~~~our life continues.

Death is not the real end, but resting time for Continuity of new birth like we sleep in the night.

Birth is not the real beginning, but starting time for continuity to follow the circle of life like we wake up in the morning!

We come into this world with empty hands and go with empty hands. We came from and return to our Mother Earth. We come from nature and go back to nature.

There are answers everywhere. The four seasons is the perfect example: starting from Spring, leading to Summer, leading to Fall and Winter then back to Spring. According to four seasons, the Winter is a symbol of the death. But, Winter is NOT final and NOT the end. Winter will lead Spring. We are all connected by a path with arrows that direct people to follow the natural rhythm. This is the Universal Laws are Cosmic Laws from Spring to Summer leading to Fall and Winter~~~back to Spring. Our Mother Earth teach us choices and changes for embracing earth and worshiping nature, following the direction of the given natural path and natural cycle of seasons.

We need to follow the flow with happiness!
Follow The Flow!
Accept Our Inevitable Death and Enjoy Our Ride while healing and protecting our Mother Earth!
I now plant my mom's favorite flower~~Cosmos in memory of my mother~~~and we live together throught the Cosmos!
This is How I Cope with Grief and Loss of My Loved One!

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