Healing comes from Gardening

Working in the soil, planting seeds, and connecting to mother earth have given me a chance of reconnecting to memories and lessons from my grandmother and my mother who lived in hope on the land based cultures despite of suffering and despite of ordeal from violence and wars.

My way of gardening requires no short-cut and no free-rides.  Since this is a way of healing, I want to enjoy the fullness of growing something in my own garden starting from the seeds, allowing them to germinate, watching them growing, sending my love and care to the plants to get a good start in their life.  I talk to plants and soil and ask how they are doing.  I greet whenever I can see them.

Mysteriously, gardening provides a universal spiritual energy back to me.  Their life get happy in my garden, where attract more birds, butterfies, and bees. I hear beautiful songs and happy singings from birds and watch my happy plants and flowers.  This makes my life happier and happier with  fullnes and completeness.   Magically, I feel wonderful!  I have never been  happier than this before.  I have created my own utopia in my yard, where I can breathe freely and experience peace and love, and the fifth dimension, which perceives and understands our physical universe into the sense of being whole.  We are one!  We are all connected each other.

These are a happy couple of sesame plants. I was going to separate them to give room to grow. Since they are so cute together, I decided to leave the way they were. They will grow together.

This is my eggplant.  She is so tiny.

These are acorn squash seedlings.  When I harvest them, I will bake them with brown sugar and cinnamon. Yum!

Two Missing Aunts and “Comfort Women”

I have two missing aunts—Japanese took them somewhere, but they never came home.
My grandmother was waiting for them to come home until she died. They never did.

My grandma died in 1984. We did not know what happened to my two missing aunts. After my grandma’s death, some Korean women who served as comfort women revealed their horrible experiences during their ordeal. From this revealing testimony as the starting point, we have learned a bit by bit, little by little about young Korean women who were used sex slaves called “comfort women” or “sprit women” for Japanese soldiers.

They were used—at least some people believed—to give powers and spiritual energies to Heavenly Japanese soldiers in Shanghai, China and Taiwan when Japan was carrying on its war of continental invasion from Manchuria into mid-China via Korea as well as the time of having wars against America. Historian Yoshiaki Yoshimi, who conducted the first academic study on the topic which brought the issue out into the open, estimated the number to be between 80,000 and 200,000. A majority of the comfort women were from Korea, though others were recruited or kidnapped from China, Taiwan, the Philippines, Burma, Malaysia, and Indonesia.

I want to know about my grandma’s two missing daughters—my missing aunts. I want to know what really had happened to them. I want to know more about my two missing aunts because I do not even know them. I do not even know their face. I do not even know how they die. I want to know more about my two missing aunts because they maybe still alive in somewhere. I want to know more about my two missing aunts because I do not even know if they were kidnapped to be comfort women. The only thing we knew was my two missing aunts were in the truck driven by Japanese and taken somewhere. But they never came back home.

Our family had no ideas about my two missing aunts. I have not found any trace of my two missing aunts, but have found traces of numerous other survivors who could have been with my missing aunts. My desire to know my two missing aunts can be partially fulfilled through survivors’ testimonies. In the name of research, I searched and  read testimonies from survivors because I may find stories from survivors who could have been with my two aunts.

Some of whom were only 13 to 16 years old. After being either laboring slaves or sex slaves, these victims could not escape from their brutal conditions in a heavily guarded place.

At this moments, many young girls are raped and sold into the slavery. Our females who are forced into sex slaves experience not only sexual violence but also institutionalized racism. This included my two aunts who were kidnapped by the Heavenly Emperor’s army. My grandmother was waiting for them to come home until she died. They never did.

Many unimaginable brutalities have been committed by men—born of women’s wombs—but raised by the whole world. Thus, our uncorrupted female ancestors were the victims of greed-incited violence.

Many victimes were beating to death. Many were starved to death. Many burning houses with live innocent people inside in their houses while serving sex slaves.

We need to stop these unimaginable brutalities. But my voice is so small, and I am a little person.  Please help me to stop abusing uncorrupted people.

Grow your own slips from Sweet Potatoes

I want to show how to grow your own slips from Sweet Potatoes.

Growing Sweet Potatoes in your garden is not a difficult task. The whole process is to bring healing with enjoyment. This is the gift that our nature has given to us. Patience is required on growing it as our life requires patience.



Step 1: Produce your own slips in a vase of water and give it sunshine on a window sill--Take 4-7 weeks (this sprouting was done by my friend Deborah from the class that I taught on Feb, 2010.  Deborah did a beautiful job!! Two thumbs up)

Happy Sweet Potatoes' sprout!

Step 2: Cut the slips when they are about 2-5 inches.

Step 3: Put the slip in a glass of water--Take 6-10 days to form roots.  For the first couple of days, she drinks a lot. 

Step 4: Bury the slips with root attached in the ground. Blowing some good luck kisses to the slips.

Step 5: Wait with hope of having lots of Sweet Potatoes by providing your love, tender, and care . You can also have a dream about it with good harvest.  This process would bring you natural way of healing! 

I will watch them grow everyday, and radiant and healthy-looking energy will spread all over to my garden and my body.  I will be happy with them!

We will harvest the most delicious Sweet Potatoes in October or November. I will make Sweet Potatoes salad with roasted pine nuts and cranberries. 

My Moccasin that I can only wear in my bed

I received Moccasins sewn by Tim—the Red man in white skin. My Moccasins is a sturdy slipper-shaped type of shoe. One day, Tim handed me a piece of paper and asked me to draw my feet. I was perplexed. I did not know what to do or what he meant. He explained that because his grandmother appeared in his dream and told him to make Moccasins for me. They need to be the right size and that will be only for me. His grandmother told him right-size the Moccasins would protect my journey and my dream for bringing worldwide peace and making oneness. He made my Moccasins using three different leather pieces from Moose, Buffalo, and Elk. My Moccasins are decorated with beads and two dream catchers, containing 108 beads stitched together with sinew made of soft leather.

The Sole/bottom was made of moose leather. A good thick piece of moose leather for the sole was used because of its characteristic of the heaviest leather. As the largest member of deer family, Moose is the symbol of self-esteem in Native American cultures. Found in the north of medicine wheel, Moose is representing the place of wisdom. Self-esteem and wisdom are to carry to fulfill my dreams.

The Upper/top was made of buffalo leather. Buffalo is the symbol of prayer and abundance. Traditional Native American considers white buffalo as the most sacred one because they believed that buffalo would hear the prayer and help in fulfilling the dream and promises. Buffalo leather would help me carry out my dreams for better future for our children.

The Tongue/side was made of elk leather. Native American considers Elk as not the first one to arrive at goal, but their steadiness gives strong stamina. They can keep going without getting burned out. Native American believes Elk honor the company of others and work together as brotherhood and sisterhood as team. This could help me to look at how I am holding up physically to the stress in my life and to pace myself to maintain equilibrium of energy over the distance I plan to cover. Also this could help me to work with others to achieve my goals and dreams.

There are two gifts I have received in my life that I want to bring to my grave because I treasure them above all else; one is from my student who made 1000 origami—10 per day for 100 days to express her appreciation for me being her angel teacher, and the other is my moccasins given by Tim, which contains the spirit of the Red man in white skin. I would carry both of them until I end my life here on this planet. Therefore, for my moccasins, I can’t wear them, but only in my bed so that I can preserve better and longer.

My Moccasins are decorated with beads and two dream catchers. Dream catchers are surrounded by spider web, which would filter all the contamination and corruptions. My dream will come true only by going through the hole of the two dream catchers.

My Moccasins embroidered with beads embody my dream of building my memorial park which contains four columns representing four seasons and four directions: the color of harvesting red, sprouting yellow, searing black, and snowing white. Those columns will be connected by a path with arrows that direct people to walk in a clockwise direction, like summer leading to fall and winter then back to spring. Those were repeated 54 beads at each Moccasin, total of 108 beads. In Eastern culture, the number of 108 represents covering all of our emotions connecting past, present and future.

The hard-sole of my Moccasin will provide me with pleasant smoothness and warmth as well as less stimulation of good foot circulation. In my sleep, I feel the leather moccasins added comfort and protection.

As Native American wore moccasins to protect their wearer's feet from sharp rocks and cacti while they were hunting, I wear my moccasins to protect my feet from corruptions and contaminations while I am working to fulfill my dream. 

Thank you Tim for the lovely gift, my Moccasins!

What happened to North Korea and South Korea in 1945?

Having a near-death experience from my brain aneurysm rupture in 2007 has made me to seek the underlying causes and the root of the problems for my health, my family, and my native country, South Korea. As a Korean-born living in America, I began to delve deeper to see the underlying causes of those events affecting Koreans. For the 36 years of the Japanese Occupation of Korea (1910-1945), thousands of Koreans, including several members of my extended family, were raped, tortured and slaughtered by the Japanese until America ended the war with the dropping of the two atomic bombs.

Upon Japanese unconditional surrender, an agreement was reached between the United States and the Soviet Union at the Potsdam Conference for the division of Korea. The United States occupied South Korea and the Soviet Union occupied North Korea. The Korean War was a conflict between the Communist, North and the non-Communist, South. Began on June 25, 1950, N. Korea invaded S. Korea. Many Chinese and American soldiers died in addition to the countless Koreans casualties. After having a prolonged treacherous fighting for three years and one month, it ended on July 27, 1953 without the signing of a peace treaty. We are still at war. These are the historical facts that we know.

However, I feel that some of these historical facts may not reflect what really happened.  According to the New York Times in October 1946, this agreement was made at the Potsdam Conference. I researched and examined the documentations related to the Potsdam conference, but could not find any agreement about Korea being halved. In my research, the Institute of Pacific Relations published a categorical statement in June 1946 that this agreement had been made at Yalta Conference. I looked the documentations related to the Yalta conference, but I could not find any information about Korea being halved. There was no formal discussion of the agreement reached between the United States and the Soviet Union to split the Korea. What happened to us? Why we are two?

There is a proverb in Korea about shrimps and whales. The little shrimps’ back get broken, when whales are fighting. Korea is the little shrimp while the US, Russia, China, and Japan are the whales. Korea’s back was broken in half into North and South. Whales either cover it up or erase history: the little shrimps with broken back are crying for their families, unbearable anguish, and the hope for the reunification of the two Korea. Divided in two always made us the victim country. On Korean Thanksgiving day and New Years’ day, some Koreans travel as far as they legally can within the DMZ. Facing to the North, they bowed down to the ground in front of the food-laden table and using chopstick, tossed some food to the North. This is where they left their families and where their hope to see them again. They cry in the DMZ longing for the family in the other Korea.

No matter how many different views I can think of, one thing never change— without our involvement, the Korean peninsula was split between the US and Russia in 1945 at the 38th parallel. Koreans have been suffering for years from the psychological impact of the War, which can be as destructive as actual wartime experience. The people who witnessed the slaughtering were transformed. I can ask, Who will rebuild our cultures and our history?  During the Japanese Occupation of Korea (1910-1945), the Korean War (1950-1953), and the Post-War period (1953-present), my mother, my father, and my grandmother went through unimaginable suffering and had to endure unimaginable atrocities: having their bodies, their lands, and their souls violated by multiple wars. Even though they were all died physically, they live within me through their stories and my memory that we have shared together.

Many theories of the cause of splitting Korea into two are still unanswered. I ask you to look into this and to produce unbiased history. I have the right to know, and we have the right to know the truth because without it, we cannot be healed. If we cannot be healed, we can never be whole. The truth needs to be told: What really happened to Korea?

How I Cope with Grief and Loss of My Loved One

How I Cope with Grief and Loss of My Loved One


The loss of a loved one is life’s most stressful event and could cause another major crisis. The death of a family member or friend whom we love dearly is VERY painful. For me, my mother passed away in 2006, and this was the toughest time in my life. After the loss, I experienced all kinds of difficult and depressed with the feelings of guilt and sadness.

Between sadness and depression, I did not have any desire to go out, but stayed at home all the time until my two friends took me to the Tulip festival. It was one month after the loss of my mom.

On the same day, my close friend gave me nine tomato seedlings. I had NO idea what to do with nine tomato seedlings. With my friend’s help, I planted all tomato seedlings into the soil. I went to the libraries and book stores to get more information how to grow. I had to water them to sustain. I had to cut the suckers in between branches. I also called my friend whenever I had questions. All of sudden, my life got so busy over nine tomato seedlings.

I started learning the life through growing nine tomato seedlings~~~ through watching them ~~~how they grow~~~how they have blossoms~~~how they have green tomatoes~~~how they change the color to red delicious tomatoes~~~how they become brown~~~how they end their life. That was the beginning of my realization about LIFE. I started learning through nine tomato seedlings~~~ through the SOIL ~~~ through our Mother Earth.

This is healing! This is one of many ways for therapeutic healing. Gardening is healing!  Planting something~~~ Growing something ~~~Watching them grow! 

We all know that losing the one you love or something you love hurts and very painful. The loss happens to everyone. This is our life, and it is a part of life~~~cycle of our life in our Mother Earth.

We are sad because we think that the death is final and the end. We might think Death is cold! Death is the end! Death is the final!

Based on my own experience, Death may NOT be as bad as you think!

Death may NOT be as cold as you think!

Death may NOT be the end!

Death may NOT be the final!

Continuation Circle of Birth and Death! To me, there is NO real beginning and NO real end, but only the continuation of life that is the one perfect circle by evolving some million and million years.

Continuation Circle! I think of death in this way ~~~we do not feel pain when we cut our hair and nails. I consider the death as like our hair and nails that we do not feel the pain~~~ we feel nothing, but for rest! They are once born and become dead after sometime. The dead cells have no blood vessels or neurons attached. So we do not feel the pain, but, mysteriously they are still growing ~~~our hair and nails!

Whenever we breathe in, that is a birth, and whenever we breathe out, that is a death of that breath ~~~our life continues.

Whenever we get up from our bed in the morning, that is a birth, and whenever we sleep, that is a death of that day ~~~our life continues.

Whenever we have Spring that has sprung, that is a birth, and whenever we have Winter that has given rest, that is a death of that season ~~~our life continues.

Death is not the real end, but resting time for Continuity of new birth like we sleep in the night.

Birth is not the real beginning, but starting time for continuity to follow the circle of life like we wake up in the morning!

We come into this world with empty hands and go with empty hands. We came from and return to our Mother Earth. We come from nature and go back to nature.

There are answers everywhere. The four seasons is the perfect example: starting from Spring, leading to Summer, leading to Fall and Winter then back to Spring. According to four seasons, the Winter is a symbol of the death. But, Winter is NOT final and NOT the end. Winter will lead Spring. We are all connected by a path with arrows that direct people to follow the natural rhythm. This is the Universal Laws are Cosmic Laws from Spring to Summer leading to Fall and Winter~~~back to Spring. Our Mother Earth teach us choices and changes for embracing earth and worshiping nature, following the direction of the given natural path and natural cycle of seasons.

We need to follow the flow with happiness!

Follow The Flow!

Accept Our Inevitable Death and Enjoy Our Ride while healing and protecting our Mother Earth!

I now plant my mom's favorite flower~~Cosmos in memory of my mother~~~and we live together throught the Cosmos!

This is How I Cope with Grief and Loss of My Loved One!

Slow Movement‏

FREE & open to the public


By Yoonok Kim, Ph.D

Meeting Rm1 @Albany Public Library-Pine Hills Branch
May 19, 2010: 5:30 - 6:30PM (Wed)
May 27, 2010: 4:30 - 5:30PM(Thurs)
June 9, 2010: 5:30 - 6:30PM (Wed)
June 23, 2010: 6-7PM (Wed)

Since we have come too far, too high, and too fast from Western Civilization and technology-driven modernization, slow is needed. Slow Movement‏ will take us back to basics and back to nature.
SLOW stands for:

S: start from myself, my hands, and my feet

L: love and respect my body, part by part

O: open my heart and turn my resentments into compassion

W: worship the earth and plant the seeds of healing and peace

This class was inspired by sharing stories of our grandmothers who have lived in hope through violence and wars. Our ultimate goal is to stop all wars, bring unity, worldwide peace and oneness. This will be achieved from loving and respecting our body, which will carry over to loving our neighbors, cities, nations, and world. My class will show how to respect our body, heal our earth and plant the seeds of healing and peace. This class requires sitting on the floor. Please bring Yoga mat or cushion.

Questions: yoonok@hotmail.com